UPDATE: already deceased Julia Child spotted!!!

I cannot freaking wait until Julia and Julia comes out!!! I smell another Oscar nomination for 2010...

Why I Hate EW and Lisa Schwarzbaum Is a Moron

The New JoeBro Movie!!! Yay!!!

Wow. I have lost absolutely all respect for EW. They were hanging on by a thin thread for shittiness to begin with, but this has absolutely sealed the deal that EW is a horrible, sorry excuse for an entertainment magazine.

Also, Lisa "I'm one of the worst critics of all time" Schwarzbaum really needs to be kicked in the face. She gives this horrible turd of a film a B-. B-???!!! Are you kidding me? I think I'd rather gouge my eyes out than have to watch this movie.

Mindy's Oscar Picks: Who Will Win, Who Should Win, and Who Got The Shaft

The 81st annual Academy Awards are upon us, and thus it is necessary for me to do the all to well-known Oscar picks post. If a certain blogger named John, who's name just so happens to be apart of this blog, can find it in his heart to follow suit, maybe we could get some good arguments...I mean discussions going.

First, let me say that I am already a little disappointed with the whole ordeal because I already know who's going to win best picture, and it definitely is NOT the best movie of the year. But hey, it won't be the first time the Academy has completely effed up. See 1980 when Scorcese lost best director for Raging Bull, or 1998 when Gwenyth Paltrow (Shakespeare in Love) beat out Cate Blanchett (Elizabeth) for best actress and Saving Private Ryan lost to Shakespeare in Love for best picture as prime examples.

Anyways, enough complaining and time for the picks. I clearly am not going to cover every single category, namely those categories where I have not seen more than one of the films nominated, or those categories where I just don't care. Oh, and the category of "Who Got the Shaft" is referring to who got snubbed nomination-wise.

Best Supporting Actress:
Who Will Win: Penelope Cruz for Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Who Should Win: Viola Davis for Doubt
Who Got the Shaft: Kate Winslet for The Reader

Ok, so a couple of comments. First, enough with the SJo/Woody Allen garbage. SJo could not act her way out of a paper bag. Secondly, I put Kate Winslet in this category because I honestly think she is in the wrong category for The Reader. The role should undoubtedly be a Best Supporting Actress nomination, as done by every single other award possible. I have no idea what the hell happened here. If she was in this category as Best Supporting, NO QUESTION she would have won, not to mention having a decent chance for Revolutionary Road in Best Actress, but that's a whole other discussion that I will save for later. Oh, and Viola Davis was on screen for a whole big 10 minutes, but her impact on Doubt cannot be underestimated.

Best Supporting Actor:
Who Will Win: HEATH LEDGER
Who Should Win: HEATH LEDGER
Who Got the Shaft: anybody who had the misfortune of being nominated against Heath Ledger.

Is there any question about this, seriously?? I can't believe a certain someone bet me $10 that Ledger would NOT sweep the Globes and Oscars. Please.

Best Music (Song)
Who Will Win: "O Saya" from Slumdog Millionaire
Who Should Win: "O Saya"
Who Got the Shaft: "The Wrestler" from The Wrestler

What the hell??? I can't believe the Academy didn't nominate Springsteen for his song "The Wrestler." I mean, it won the effin' Globe and now not even a nomination! I don't get it.

Cinematography:
Who Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire
Who Should Win: The Dark Knight

Art Direction:
Who Will Win: Revolutionary Road
Who Should Win: Revolutionary Road

Costume Design:
Who Will Win: The Duchess
Who Should Win: Revolutionary Road

Did you see that white dress that Kate Winslet wore in the film?? Nothing says 1950s more than that.

Best Actress:
Who Will Win: Kate Winslet for The Reader
Who Should Win: WHO DO YOU THINK????? MERLY STREEP. PERIOD. Nomination #15, you'd think she'd take a breather to let give someone else a chance.
Who Got the Shaft: Kate Winslet for Revolutionary Road and Cate Blanchett for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

As I was saying above, Kate Winslet got nominated for the right film just in the wrong category, and then got screwed out of a double nomination. But it really is her year, and she's due, being now 0-5 in the Oscar wins. If she had been nominated for Revolutionary Road, definitely would have still been a major contender, if not the favorite. And before I forget, I want to give a shout out to Melissa Leo for Frozen River. If she does somehow magically manage to win (which would be the biggest surprise since Marisa Tomei won Best Supporting Actress for My Cousin Vinny), I would be OK with that loss for Meryl. Oh, and screw Anne Hathaway. Angelina shouldn't have even really been nominated, but the Oscars wanted a "Brangelina" moment to boost ratings I suppose.

Best Actor:
Who Will Win: Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler
Who Should Win: Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler
Who Got the Shaft: Leonardo DiCaprio for Revolutionary Road

Revolutionary Road, so completely underrated. Anyways, I know Sean Penn is the favorite right now for Milk, and no putting him down, but I think the Academy will do the right thing and give the Oscar to Mickey. Role of a lifetime. That is all I have to say about his performance. I did see Milk, just didn't have time for a review, and though Penn was good, I just gotta stick with Mickey for this one.

Best Director:
Who Will Win: Danny Boyle for Slumdog
Who Should Win: David Fincher for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Who Got the Shaft: Sam Mendes for Revolutionary Road

Since everyone seems to be jumping on the Slumdog bandwagon, the obvious pick is for Danny Boyle. Although he does do a good job, Fincher's direction of Benjamin Button really elevates the film from mediocrity to greatness.

Best Picture
Who Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire
Who Should Win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Who Got the Shaft: Revolutionary Road

I guess nowadays if you just promote a film hard enough, you'll start to convince people of its greatness as well (see Crash). If Revolutionary Road had been nominated, I definitely think it should win, but since it is not, I have to go with Benjamin Button as the film that should win, though of course we all know the overrated cliché Slumdog will be the winner.

And that should do it. I now patiently await John's picks.

If Meryl Streep should happen to win on Sunday night, you may want to call the fire department in advance, since I'll be lighting cars on fire in the street in CELEBRATION, à la "classy" Ohio State fans.

I'm Just NOT That Into This Movie.

What can I say about He's Just Not That Into You? One word: HORRIBLE. I really don't have much else to say. Sorry, no in depth analysis or critical scene by scene analysis. This movie was so unbelievably crappy that I really don't want to put in the time, nor the effort to verbally destroy this huge piece of shit of a movie. I believe the conversation that the studio execs had while deciding to make this film went a little something like this:

"Hey, I know this movie is crap, but let's just pay a bunch of big movie stars to be in it"
"Yeah, that's a great idea. That'll make people want to pay to see it"
"Yeah, and let's release it on Valentine's Day weekend so that couples HAVE to see this sorry excuse for a film"
"Great idea!"
"I mean even if we have a horrible script, bad directing and a shitty soundtrack, so what? We can just get a bunch of A-listers to join the cast and it will be ALL worth it."
"Yay money!!!!!"Yeah let me put more emphasis on that last point about the music for this film. So cliché that I wanted to gag myself. Keane's Somewhere Only We Know ENDLESSLY looping during a heartfelt confession scene, I thought I was going to vomit all over the person in front of me. And if you've seen the soundtrack on iTunes, you should take note of the last track as it is sung by none other than Scarlet Johansson. To use one of her lines from the film: "Oh. My. God." voiced like a complete and total moron, as SJo so aptly does in one of the first scenes. If you've never heard SJo sing before, I highly recommend you taking a-listen to this: SJo sings. WOW. She really needs to stick to acting, though she's a pretty overrated in my opinion. And why is Woody Allen so crazy about her?? Maybe we should ask his adopted daughter...I mean wife.

If Meryl Streep ever saw this script, I'm sure she would light it on fire or flush it down the toilet. I give He's Just Not That Into You 1 Meryl.

Angelina Jolie's Oscar To Do List

CRY. Cry a lot. Oh and scream and yell some too. And don't forget your straight jacket scene. If your name is Angelina Jolie, this is exactly what you need to do to garner an Oscar nomination. See Exhibit A:



Jolie's Oscar To Do List:
1. Scream a lot ✓
2. Cry a lot ✓
3. Straight jacket ✓
4. Get nominated ✓




"Ok, it's just one film, and she was playing a character in a mental institution," you may say. And I see your point. But point, counter-point with Exhibit B:


Jolie's Oscar To Do List:
1. Scream a lot ✓
2. Cry a lot ✓
3. Straight jacket
4. Get nominated ✓




Alright, so no straight jacket this time. But, I've saved my trump card for last. I give you ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Exhibit C AND Exhibit D:


Crying, and lots of it...










JACKPOT!
Jolie's Oscar To Do List:
1. Scream a lot ✓
2. Cry a lot ✓✓✓✓
3. Straight jacket ✓
4. Get nominated ✓





I threw some extra check marks in there for the crying item, as I felt it was appropriate. I hope my demonstration has persuaded you, if not I hope it provided a few laughs.

It's been awhile since I've seen Changeling, so I'm not going to write a review of it since I don't think it'd really be fair or accurate enough. All I will say about the film is that I thought it was good, though not one of Eastwood's best. And as much as I'm bashing on Jolie in this post, it's not really because her performance was bad in the film, but rather that I am making an observation of a pattern I have noticed in her roles/acting style. Because that's what we do here at The Cheap Seats. We make fun of people like Angelina Jolie. And let's not forget Maggie Gyllenhaal. It's not that I hate Maggie or really Angelina for that matter, but I was just making an observation.

Liam Neeson's Stock Just Went Up 100 points: Taken Review

The moral of this movie is to never go into a theater with high expectations. After seeing the preview for this action film, I did not expect much. Surprisingly, this worked to the movie's advantage. The movie is an homage to the old school action flicks, like Arnold Schwarzeneggar's Commando, where one guy takes down like an entire effin' army single-handedly. Not only does the movie succeed in being faithful to the old style, it exceeds it. Every part to make a successful homage is there: it's cheesy as hell, laughable at many parts, and the cliché lines from Neeson are quite entertaining. At one part in the film he tells an old friend who now works for the French government: "I'll tear down the Eiffel Tower if I have to." Awesome. You do that Liam, you do that. From Oskar Schindler to rampaging one-man shit show?? Impressive.

The plot is pretty basic. We start out meeting Neeson's character, a recently retired spy or CIA agent guy, who is trying to improve the relationship with his 17 year-old daughter. The daughter now lives with her mother and her super wealthy step-father. Poor Neeson, can only afford a cheap-ass karaoke machine for her birthday, while her step-father gets her a pony. Tear... Anyways, we learn that Neeson is a bad-ass mofo, since he takes down some random guy with a knife trying to hurt a pop star. Hilarious scene. But the movie starts moving when his daughter goes with her slutty friend to Paris for a Eurotrip. Just like the plot from Commando, the daughter gets kidnapped by some bad guys, and dad must come to the rescue. So Neeson goes to Paris on a one-man mission of kicking ass and taking names. I won't say anymore about what happens, except to mention that what follows is an hour long journey that involves guy getting hit by truck, sex slaves, pimping, some Albanians, Arab Sheiks, and shooting an old friend's wife in the arm. What more do I need to say to motivate you to see this movie??? Just check out this little mini-comic that gives you a brief glimpse of the awesomeness you're missing:

If Meryl Streep was about 15 years younger, and a dude, she would totally be all over this film. I give Taken 4 Meryls. I would've gone for 5, except for the fact that there is a happy ending, and we all know I hate happy endings.

Slumdog Millionaire: a stylishly shot collection of clichés

After writing my review of Slumdog Millionaire, I felt that there was still something that could be added to better get my point across. Dennis Lim is a much more eloquent writer than I am, and I found that his article on Slumdog hit the nerve of what I was attempting to articulate in my own review.